OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize