I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
