so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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