I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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