remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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