you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
