I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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