hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
