I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
