its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
