did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
