That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
