I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
