Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I have tasted many bathrooms
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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