I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
