If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
