If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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