she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
