so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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