Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
