That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
