He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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