Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
