North Korea, Best Korea!
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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