omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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