But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
