guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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