It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he fucked my hip out of place.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
