Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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