i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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