just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
