we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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