worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
