i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
