What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
