apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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