Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
