i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
