I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
