we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
