they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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