wrigley field is MILF paradise
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
ok first of all what the fuck
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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