If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
