i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I love you. Go after that dick
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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