Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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