The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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