Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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