Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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