Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
