i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
