foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
