I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I have post one night stand depression
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
