I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
