If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
