just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
