u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
