Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
