We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
