look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
