It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
