I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
