If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The chlamydia really affected his face.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
