I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
