my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
